A letter to the OW from my Husband

This is one of the hundreds of emails that I found between my husband and his girlfriend. There is so much in this one that just slaps me in the face because I know what was going on in my life at this time. Affairs are so selfish and unfair. It just makes me so depressed sometimes because it just hits me that this is what my life is now. I do so many positive things in my life, but it always seems to come back to the affair. I know time will dull the ache, I'm just waiting for it to happen. I haven't corrected any spelling or grammar it is written just as the email reads.

Dearest Jennifer,

Re: Masks

Yesterday when you were having a rough time your text to me said  " I hate everything and I am tired of putting on a mask everyday you have no idea how miserable I am when I get home!"

Yes I do know how miserable you are, I know exactly how miserable you are, I know because I am that miserable every single day I come home, only I have to keep my mask on all day and all night. I do that for YOU! As I said, what keeps me sain in all the maddness is reaching out to you. When we have communications like we did last night, I get to take my mask off, and its the most wonderful feeling in the world. There is no way I could ever be in the same room with you and be unaware of exactly whats going on with you. I feel you when I am not in the same county as you, much less the same state!

You are much too beautiful inside and out, much too kind. much too wonderful to have to ever put on a mask.
Life isn't always about waiting for the storm to pass, sometimes its about learning to dance in the rain.

You are in my heart forever.

END TEXT

This is one of the less hurtful emails, most of them at least mention me as the enemy. This one just eludes to me being the reason he is so miserable. The affair fog is such crap. I'll share more of the emails that really put a light on what their affair was like. This email is significant because it is the day after I caught him texting her in the middle of the night. Their communications the night before was at 2 AM and my husband said it was work related. Yep, dear I'm stupid...not! The next day she actually had to the nerve to call him while he was spending time with his kids. Another female coworker was going to ride with him to an out of town meeting, and she was NOT going to have it! She was having a tirade (that I could hear) that he was not allowed to let this coworker ride with him! He actually said in the middle of the tirade, "I'll take care of it, but I am at HOME right now and can't talk." Well honey, continue that conversation, it is really interesting that a "friend" cares that much who you are riding with to the meeting.

Lord help us.