Thursday, February 2, 2012
Anger!
This is just a random thought today. I am not actually angry at any one aspect of the affair. I am just wondering if any of you have been able to say in truth that you have let go of the anger you feel. The pain of my husband's affair is always in the background everyday. It has been there for so long that I am "used" to it being there around almost every corner. It is the anger that I have problems with understanding, excepting, and letting it go. I have NEVER had anger issues previous to the affair. It is an understatement to say I was laid back and easy going. Maybe that is why the anger is so shocking to me. I can be so bitterly angry towards my husband, and I don't entirely understand it since I really do love him. I just have these moments where I think of something he did during or after the affair and I get so mad! Don't even get me started on how angry I get when I think of the OW. I have no reason to even pretend that I like her, so wow I get angry when I think of her. I know, I know, I have to let go of the anger to move on with my life. Easier said than done, and that's the truth!
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My two cents...Your anger is natural. Its the way God made you. If it were me I would want "justice". Even Jesus himself was angry in Matt 21:12, Mark 11:15, and Luke 19:45, when he drove the people out of the temple for buying and selling, when the temple was a sacred place meant for worshiping God, not for buying and selling goods. Your marriage is that sacred place. He knows how you feel and he will justify you. I am sure you know this already but letting go of the anger is going to help YOU more in the long run even though it is easier said than done. Just make a consciense decision everyday that you are going to forgive and let it go and ask the Lord to help you and He will.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lepo. You are absolutely correct I have to make a conscience decision every day to let go of the anger. I know that is what is best for me. Sometimes I just have a hard time reminding myself of it. I do occasionally let my anger take over my spirit. I love your reference to Jesus in the temple. You are right my marriage was and is my sacred place and I feel it was desecrated. God Bless.
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