Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Life goes on and so do we.
So in mid-July my husband calls me from work. He says " I got a promotion today, I start in OKC tomorrow." OKC is 6 hours away! He just told be the weekend before that he was "trying" to be in love with me. How do I trust him enough to move my precious children and myself away from all we know? Sometimes I think I am TOO faithful. I started packing boxes and preparing my older kids for the move from their school. I have doubts. every. single. day. He keeps saying it is a new state. new start. The only bonus I see is that SHE will no longer be anywhere near my husband. The weekend before had been so traumatic for me, it was like finding our about the affair all over again. We were out of town in a condo with out internet service. My husband has a cell broadband card and set up his lap top for me to use. I am NOSEY! I started snooping and there were all these images of everywhere they had been together, and get this...they were taken just a couple of weeks before. JUST. ANOTHER. SLAP. IN . THE . FACE. He even had a pic she had taken of a movie still picture he had obviously given her. It was a still that I had given HIM as a gift. Talk about an ultimate slap in the face! I regifted your thoughtful gift to my girlfriend...I just ooze class.
Monday, August 1, 2011
D-Day 2 and hundreds of emails
At the end of September, I was still reeling from my discovery. We were working on our marriage, but I felt he was still not being honest with me. I knew there was more to his relationship than he was owning up to during the month. He also refused to go to counseling with me because he " didn't do well rehashing everything over and over." I kinda felt this was a threat. Make too much of this and I am out of here kind of thing? Anyway, my "something is NOT right" radar was going CRAZY.
I am a SAHM, so I was on my computer one afternoon before I picked the "big" kids up from school. I started thinking, I bet he has stuff hidden in his email. hummmm. I knew he had changed his password months before, because I had looked when I started getting the feeling he was hiding something. I had been married to this man for 11 years at this point. I figured I could answer any security questions and change his password. Yes, I know this is sneaky and underhanded, but I had actually set up this account and had maintained it for years. When he didn't have anything to hide, well he had nothing to hide. He had access to all my accounts, well because I had nothing to hide. I am an open book to him.
As I suspected, getting access was fairly easy. I mean, come on, I KNOW this man intimately! Once inside I find HUNDREDS of emails proclaiming his love for this woman. He was saying such lovely things to this woman. Things I had dreamed he would say to me for YEARS. He had given this woman what belonged to me, his faithful wife. I was SICK, literally. My heart was hurting, I really FELT it breaking. Time was short, I had to run carpool, so I started printing the emails. I didn't have time to print them all. If I had been thinking at the moment, I would have just forwarded them all to my email to print later. I was not thinking. I just knew I needed to print what I could so I would have proof. Proof, if I needed it for divorce. I finally started to get pissed. I forwarded him a couple of the really sexually explicit emails to his work email. I wanted to make him squirm. He would know they were from me. He had told me over and over again they were just friends that got too close. Yeah right, buddy, I write to all my friends like these emails...NOT!
I got in line for carpool just like any other day. I had to fake that I wasn't dying inside for the sake of my kids. I was, however, dead inside that day. Mr. P called my cell when I was in line, on a fishing expedition. I wasn't giving anything away. I made him squirm and actually ask me if I had sent him the emails. I was cool and collected when I said " what do you mean? Is there something incriminating in your email?" He was caught red handed and he knew it.
I am a SAHM, so I was on my computer one afternoon before I picked the "big" kids up from school. I started thinking, I bet he has stuff hidden in his email. hummmm. I knew he had changed his password months before, because I had looked when I started getting the feeling he was hiding something. I had been married to this man for 11 years at this point. I figured I could answer any security questions and change his password. Yes, I know this is sneaky and underhanded, but I had actually set up this account and had maintained it for years. When he didn't have anything to hide, well he had nothing to hide. He had access to all my accounts, well because I had nothing to hide. I am an open book to him.
As I suspected, getting access was fairly easy. I mean, come on, I KNOW this man intimately! Once inside I find HUNDREDS of emails proclaiming his love for this woman. He was saying such lovely things to this woman. Things I had dreamed he would say to me for YEARS. He had given this woman what belonged to me, his faithful wife. I was SICK, literally. My heart was hurting, I really FELT it breaking. Time was short, I had to run carpool, so I started printing the emails. I didn't have time to print them all. If I had been thinking at the moment, I would have just forwarded them all to my email to print later. I was not thinking. I just knew I needed to print what I could so I would have proof. Proof, if I needed it for divorce. I finally started to get pissed. I forwarded him a couple of the really sexually explicit emails to his work email. I wanted to make him squirm. He would know they were from me. He had told me over and over again they were just friends that got too close. Yeah right, buddy, I write to all my friends like these emails...NOT!
I got in line for carpool just like any other day. I had to fake that I wasn't dying inside for the sake of my kids. I was, however, dead inside that day. Mr. P called my cell when I was in line, on a fishing expedition. I wasn't giving anything away. I made him squirm and actually ask me if I had sent him the emails. I was cool and collected when I said " what do you mean? Is there something incriminating in your email?" He was caught red handed and he knew it.
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